Helping Children Build Confidence: Every Step Matters

As parents, one of the greatest gifts we want to give our children is confidence.  We want our children to believe in themselves, try new things, and know they are capable, valued, and loved.  We want them to feel confident as they navigate challenges, friendships, and new experiences.  Many parents ask, “How do I raise a confident child?” or “How can I help my child believe in themselves?”

The answer is that confidence is not something we simply give our children. Confidence is a skill they can learn and develop over time.  Just like any skill, confidence grows with practice, support, and experiences that help children discover what they are capable of.

One of the ways we can help children build confidence is by teaching them positive self-talk. Children often learn how to speak to themselves by listening to the voices around them. We can help them notice when they are being unkind to themselves and teach them how to replace those thoughts with words that are supportive and encouraging.  Instead of, “I can’t do this,” we can help them practice saying, “I’m still learning,” or “I can try again.”

We can also help children experience opportunities for success. Success builds confidence. The more children experience themselves learning, improving, and accomplishing goals, the more they begin to believe in their own abilities.  Helping children understand their strengths is another powerful confidence builder.  Some children benefit from seeing reminders of what makes them special — a piece of artwork they created, a certificate they earned, a team photo, or even a favorite item that represents something they worked hard for. These reminders help children recognize their own growth and abilities and can serve as great motivators.

At the same time, children need to understand that areas where they struggle are not permanent.  A child who struggles with spelling, math, sports, friendships, or another skill is not "bad" at something - they are simply still learning.  With practice, patience, guidance, and support, children can develop skills in areas that feel challenging.

As parents, some of our most powerful opportunities happen during everyday moments. When we hear, “I can’t,” when our child is afraid to try something new, when fear holds them back, or when they begin making excuses to avoid a challenge, those moments become opportunities to teach confidence.

We can gently ask:
“What would happen if you believed in yourself?”
“What would you try if you knew you could learn from the experience?”
“How would you show up if you were standing in your own strength?”

At CleftStrong, we see this every year through our 5K and Kids 1K. The finish line is not just about completing a race. It is about courage, perseverance, and a child discovering, “I can do hard things.”  Every step, every attempt, and every challenge faced helps build confidence.  

A Final Thought...
What if confidence is not something we build in one big moment, but something that grows through hundreds of small moments?  A child trying something new... a child learning from a mistake... a child finding the courage to try again... a child discovering s(he) is capable.  These moments may seem small, but over time they help children recognize their own strengths and begin to believe in themselves.  As parents, we can help nurture these moments by offering encouragement, support, and opportunities for our children to grow at their own pace.   

Every child is becoming someone.  It's a privilege to walk alongside them, helping them recognize the strengths, gifts, and purpose God has placed within them while encouraging them as they grow into who they are becoming.  Every mile has meaning.  Every step tells a story. 
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Always cheering you on, 
--Chelsea Ortiz
B.S. Early Childhood Education | Certified Children's Mindset Coach 
Founder, CleftStrong | Creator of The Owl's Haven

​About the Author
For more than a decade, Chelsea has had the privilege of walking alongside children and families, through CleftStrong and in a separate professional role.  One thing she continues to see is that every child faces challenges - some medical, some social, and some simply part of growing up. 

If today's article resonated with you, Chelsea also shares encouragement and practical resources for parents through The Owl's Haven.